New Beginning - Day 2

At the end of my first 30 days of the body bugg I was super frustrated. I had a calorie deficit of about 860 calories, which meant I should have lost weight. But, I didn't. I did loose an inch off my waist and thighs but.. well.. hard to make that seem like enough.

So I am trying out something different. I am trying the 70/30 percent rule. Meaning that weight loss is truly 70% about what you eat and 30% about exercising. I have exercising down so I can do that 30%. My eating has been in deficit levels but it is just not taking. I have to judge what I eat as well. So I am going to put 70% of my strength into watching what I eat.

I will start by going back to the Atkins. I know, its not the hip way to loose a few pounds but it has worked for me in the past before and I need something that works right now. Its frustrating to be doing more exercise than any other girl I know and yet still be one of the largest girls I know. So lets put the focus on food. I will continue to work out as it is a habit for me now but I will give up Carbs for two weeks and then slowly introduce them back into my diet. Within the next two weeks I will also not have beer which is so hard for me because it is part of my social group to have beer, but I got to make a tough change for big changes!

Day 20 - Return Mega Cal Day

Sorry, I have been gone for awhile. The good news is that I've kept up with my bodybugg wearing and exercise. I had to write about yesterday though. I did Crossfit in the morning, walked to work and back, and then played softball with my company's team for a total calorie burn of 3407! Wow! I was just thinking the other day how interesting it would be if I could make it to 3000. I did feel totally wiped out at bedtime.

Problem though, I only ate about 1400 calories that day for a deficit of 1600, which I know is way too much. This might be why I can't sleep tonight. So I had a hard boiled egg for a late late night snack. Still though I am a bit frustrated.

I am not loosing as fast as I wanted. I should be down 4.5lbs and instead down 3lbs. I guess when I write it out it doesn't seem that bad, which is glad I am writing it down. I just feel trapped at this weight of 190. I am doing so much exercise that I feel like I deserve to have it peeled off me, not creeping off me.

I have this weird body where if just for a week I check out and eat what I sometimes call "normally" I gain 4lbs. This is not just water weight because it will stay on for weeks. Then it takes me three weeks to get that weight off. I have to be on it at all times and it can wear a girl out.

This is a nice victory for me though 3400 calories! Wow! I deserved to eat a nice meal from that had I known. Maybe I should invest in the digital display.

Day 9 - Adjusting Calorie Intake

As you can see my calorie deficit is a lot higher than it has been. I am experimenting to see what difference that makes. Speaking of difference I stepped on the scale today and it read 191.5! Yesterday it was 194! argh. You never know what you body is going to throw at you. But, oh well, I am down the amount I should be if I started at 193, that is a 1.5 lb loss.

I do feel like I am never going to get out of this cycle. I've been roughly at this weight for over a year now. I need to keep things in perspective, its been a terrible year of hospitals, oncology units, and ICUs. Being a bit overweight is not the end of the world.

Day 8 - What Makes Me Happy

I need to re-frame my frustrations into being honest with what makes me upset, what makes my body feel bad, and what makes both my mind and body feel good.

I had a fun weekend with friends but unfortunately that included a lot of drinking and staying out late. My body felt horrible Saturday after a Friday night of drinking and dancing. It was a lot of fun and I got to go out on the dance floor and have a guy show interest in me. It was good, when I stay home or shield myself around my friends I think that no one could ever be interested in me. But when I put myself out there it was nice to see I can be attractive. Which means I can still go out but I don't need to stay out as late or drink as much. Moderation is always the key.

But the thing is, running and Crossfit, makes my body feel happy for days after unlike drinking where I fit terrible the next day. Plus I feel more confident after doing Crossfit. Check out this Crossfit video, I did that workout. I am thinking about stepping up my Crossfit workouts to four times a week instead of three, which months ago I would say is crazy but my trainer says I can do it.

Day 8, WEEK 1 TOTAL - Frustrated

Above is my week average of calories burned vs eaten. Should be good but... not so much.

One week into my 30 day challenge and I don't have amazing numbers to report. I am frustrated. I started out at 193lbs and then by weighing in throughout the week I was buzzing along, going down to a 191lbs, right on schedule. And then this morning's weight in, 194. What the hell? I had a 500 Cal deficit and I exercised a lot.

I need to re-tool how I am eating. I was experimenting thinking that just as long as I eat under my 1950 I should be good. I don't think this is the case with my body. I am thinking about seeing a nutritionalist. I also need to cut down my drinks. My social group basically always meets at bars, lounges, house parties. I love this lifestyle and won't stop it, but I can control how I drink. I have tried to go out and just drink non-alcoholic drinks and my friends are super cool with it. I don't need to drink just because everyone else is drinking. repeat! I don't need to drink just because everyone else is drinking.

For the next week I am going to eat much less, what I used to eat, and really watch it. I can't just give up even though I am frustrated. The minute I even think about giving up and not being conscious of my eating is when I can easily gain 10lbs.

Day 4 - Problems

Its been a hard day. I was checked out all day. On Wednesday I coordinated a community event and got talking to a very handsome man. Honestly this is where I doubt myself. I am not as fit as him and so why would he be going for me? It just made me a bit sad and second guessing myself. We just talked, no date arranged but it makes me feel worse to be at this weight and have to deal with this.

Day 2 - Crossfit

I was moody as heck yesterday. Why? Not completely sure but I do know when I finished with my Crossfit workout I was all smiles. What is CrossFit ?
"CrossFit is an evidence based strength and conditioning program built on consistently varied, if not randomized, functional movements executed at high intensity. It was developed to enhance every individual’s competency at all physical tasks. CrossFit started in Santa Cruz and is now an international fitness program with over 450 affiliates worldwide."

But words don't do it justice. Below is the workout I did yesterday and no I am not in it. Also note, most of the women in this video are all mothers in their late 30s-40s. I am one of the few youngin's in the bunch. When I first started at Crossfit I totally didn't feel I belonged, there but they are very welcoming to all types and now I feel fine working out next to women with 8-pack abs. In fact I admire them more than any super skinny-weak looking girls. My body will never be waif like, but I can be strong. So, for motivation, I want to be around women who worked hard to get strong. Also note, I could not do the pull-ups like they are in the video, not strong enough, but I did modified box jumps that get your heart going. I was so proud of myself that I could do all the weights. Nothing makes you feel like you kick ass like lifting these weights.